Exasperatingly Aggravating.

   Today was pretty much a bad day. 
   With that said, I cannot help but feel the need to blog - since I noticed I haven't been posting much due to my busyness, and had only posted Music Mondays and Fashion Fridays - and the need to actually look back during these past few weeks. It started when professors started giving out quizzes on the last week of June. But starting July, they started giving out more quizzes, and yes, I am not exactly doing well. 
   How frustrating! 
   Yes, I pass, but seriously, those are pretty low grades. And no, I never cared about my grades this much during High School - and that's the problem! I was used to being boxed up in that tiny place for a decade that I practically grew up there and was used to the culture there! No, I am not culture-shocked with my new school now in College. In fact, I have adapted to the surroundings and culture there during the second week since classes began. The main problem is the fact that my brain is not functioning or is not tuned yet to really focus on academics. 
   And that's what frustrates me even more!
   I kept telling myself that I should focus and work harder, but hell, it never happens! My body and brain do not exactly comply! And it shows too, since today I got back the journal in my major subject for my course, and I think that the grade I got does not really suffice for my standard! Our professor knew that I was practically pressured and stressed during the last few entries, since they got a few paragraphs shorter from the first few. Not only that, but today I got in trouble too! Although it wasn't really a major offense, still... I had to stay an extra hour at school to do service (not community service, just saying), and I have three more additional hours to go next week! I know it was my fault too, but it was completely unexpected. 
   Oh well, guess that was the surprise today...
   I cannot say that I am completely despising myself these past few weeks, really. Right now, I am too hyped and angry to even do so! I hope that this anger drives me to the edge of greatness, that I improve myself for despising myself - if I can say so - and make me more determined and motivated more than ever. But right now, that is what I am feeling. 
   And if my wish happens, I'll thank God for it!

- M

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