Finally...

   So today we took our last exams for our Math Finals...
   HELLO SEMBREAK! :D
   I just went to school to take the finals, after that, I headed to our old school where I had been in for a decade or so. And we stayed there for a while just to hang out and visit some of our old teachers and friends. It was fun, really. It felt nice to be there, and I was excited for some reason that I do not know. It was strange, but this was the moment that I had been waiting for - to see how things are now with the place I used to be in. It reminds myself where I was, you know? 

Me with Gertie after taking our finals :)
At our old school. (L-R): Pau, Dane and me. :)
    But the thing is, why I'm really blogging right now isn't about those. 
   You see, before I had this personal blog, I had my Tumblr. That was where I randomly post personal stuff and reblog all the things I like. I know, it wasn't a good combination, but yeah, that's where I decided to blog first before I got here. Nevertheless, I just randomly searched my Tumblr Username's tag (#cigarettestainedshirts), and scrolled down, there I saw my old personal posts. So I read it, because frankly, I do not remember anything that I've written there since I write tons of stuff. And you know what? I was quite surprised at what I saw. 
    As I read those old Tumblr posts earlier, I felt as if the emotions there were raw and fresh. It was just that expressive, you know? And as far as I can remember, that was where I usually vent out my feelings that I want to express. Not just that but, I saw myself in those posts as if I did not care about anyone and what they would think about me when I post those stuff. And yes, currently I still do not, but I'm not as expressive as I was before. Now, it makes me wish that I can write the same way as I did right now. There, I couldn't possibly care less, because I said things I wanted to say - without hurting anyone, and if I refer to other people, I did maintain anonymity - and just expressed myself. 
   I want that. 
   I knew at some point or another, after this year's summer, I've changed. But I didn't realize how much until now. Yes, I still do vent out on Twitter at times, but why not on this blog? Right? And it was great that I suddenly found myself reading those stuff, because if I didn't, then I wouldn't realize such things. Yes, there are sides of myself where room for improvement was very much needed, and they did improve as far as I'm concerned. But there are other sides of myself that I didn't want to change, because those sides made me who I am. And I can perfectly remember that time last month where I posted something about wanting to find my lost self (see here), and now what you do know? I actually did.
   But I cannot say it for sure until I attain that side of myself again because maybe, it's lost forever.
   Though, I don't exactly believe that crap.

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