'M' Marks The Spot - How Soon Is Now?

Sunday, July 31, 2016

'M' Marks The Spot

    A few weeks late, I know. But I haven't exactly been in the writing mood as of late. Though, I'm trying to get back into it, considering as how I've realized how sporadic my posts have been.
   So anyway, July finally came along - apparently so, in fact, it's about to end - and I remember posting about my birthday a week before June ended. And to be honest, days leading up to it had been anxiety-inducing, and I was actually quite nervous. I don't know why, but part of it were mostly feelings of dread and of wanting to disappear under the covers for a few days until it all passed by. But obviously, I couldn't avoid it, as I have also mentioned on my previous post. And it's actually quite funny how you would think I would be less anxious about it, but nope. I was anxious more than ever, which wasn't all too surprising. In fact, it happens every year, since as you guys know and as I've also mentioned more than a couple of times before, that I'm not much of a big fan of it... Maybe even, at all.
   There were a few specific things that I wanted then, most of them were just little trinkets. But the vital part of it all was my plan: how I want to celebrate it and the company I want to celebrate it with. And considering how OC I am, I was actually afraid that there might be a huge possibility of it not happening the way I want it to, or for it to happen but end up as a blasted disaster instead. Both of which, obviously, were a big no-no. I wouldn't want those things to happen, of course, and if such worst cases do, I knew I would end up feeling very unhappy on a day of what was supposed to be a joyous occasion.
   How pessimistic can I be? Lol.
   But in all seriousness, I never knew why my birthday had always been a touchy subject for me. Perhaps I always viewed it as a day wherein I'm allowed or I can get a free pass to do whatever the fuck that I wanted, without thinking about others, and I can just be happy - like swimmingly happy, y'know? And if something does go awry, I get easily disappointed. It's kind of amusing, now that I think about it, even if I never tried to make much sense of it, but oh well... On the bright side however, beyond all that anxiety and whatnot, I'm glad to let you guys know that I was actually, very swimmingly happy that day.
    Huzzah! :)

(L-R: Pam, Me, and Dane)
    Perhaps it's true that if one thing is going well in your life, another one falls into pieces. And although, it wasn't anything too drastic, and because of the fact that I just never believed in that kind of stuff (since I'm OC but also quite cynical, and I don't expect things in life to happen perfectly even if I have this great caprice for it to); when one thing fell apart, it opened a window for my plan to happen. Sure, I was a tad bit vexed, but it was overshadowed by my disbelief and awe. Not to mention, my excitement! So I messaged some of my best of friends - the very few important people in my life - and invited them out for dinner at this authentic Italian restaurant, Daniele's Casa Mia, where we had a Valentine's Day dinner a couple of years back.
   I was very specific with the kind of vibe I wanted, you see. I mentioned then that I wanted it to be quaint, with a cozy and warm ambiance, to be enjoyed with very few friends and great conversation. And that was what exactly happened, other than the fact that I couldn't shrug off at how much of a big deal it was for Pam and Dane to meet another important individual in my life. No wonder why I was so nervous, right? Lol. But I was very elated too, that Dane managed to go straight to have dinner with us just after she flew back from her trip from Bohol. I know how tired she must've been, but she came through for me, which I deeply appreciate. And although it was raining during the start of the evening, that didn't stop us whatsoever. And I refuse to let it dampen my spirits! I mean, it wasn't exactly all too surprising too, but it always rains on my birthday, which I should probably consider as a blessing.
   In fact, I actually do.
   But then, the rain eventually stopped just as we were finished having dinner.

   So afterwards, we decided to go have a few drinks at Mulligan's in BF. I actually wanted some wine, but instead, I settled for some beer. It was weird though, because of the fact that there were a lot of people out there that night, and it was a Tuesday. But then again, it was suddenly announced that it was a national holiday the next day, so whatever.
   During our time there, I suddenly realized that I actually wanted to go and visit an art gallery, since I remembered how on my birthday last year, Dane took me to the National Museum. A few days earlier, I was able to find a list of good exhibits that were going on, and there was a specific one that I wanted to go to. So since it was a holiday the next day, I told them about it, and the next thing I knew, we all decided to go (which I will post about very soon).
    Soon enough though, it was an hour past midnight and our night officially ended. We headed home, and I have to say that after all of that, I was actually more than ecstatic. Perhaps I didn't quite believe it when I declared that the streak was finally over last year, but I'm very glad to say that it really and definitely is over - for good (I hope)! Everything happened the way I planned it or wanted it to be, and I couldn't be any more blessed and happy. I'm just so grateful to have all these wonderful people in my life, and I just couldn't find words to express how much I actually appreciate all of them!

And this was the reason why I titled this post as "'M' Marks The Spot," lol.
   So it's another year into the new decade of my life, and there were already so many things that I have learned and started to learn just when it began. There had been a lot of amazing adventures and challenges; they were so crazy and fun, and filled with frustrations and tears, but I wouldn't have had them any other way. I'm glad that I continue to have breakthroughs, both outside and within myself, and that I continue to grow more as a person. But I do have to say though, that I think the most important thing that I have learned during my previous age number, was the fact that I got to learn how to be a bit more selfish and how my perception of it changed because it's okay to be just that from time to time. And also, to believe in and stand up for myself, and to not let anyone or anything stop me from reaching my goals.
    I only wish to continue to grow and have more breakthroughs - to be a better person, and be the kind of person that I want to be to get to where I want to be. And I hope that the upcoming year will be another one hell of a ride, filled with nothing but love, happiness, and success!
   Not just for me, of course, but for all of us...

P.S. To my wonderful R, who have taught me the most important thing I learned thus far; who believes in me in many ways that I never have, and who I know will always be there for me no matter what (at least, I hope so ;P). The success of the night wouldn't have been possible and as memorable without you... For that, I thank you with all of my heart. And since I know you've asked me many times before to mention you or write about you here on the blog, here I am - for the first time ever - dedicating this post for you. ;)
~ xoxo, M ♥

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