Freaking Out - How Soon Is Now?

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Freaking Out

Carrie to Miranda, Season 1 Episode 7: "The Monogamists"
   I can't stop smiling today.
   Well actually, I can considering my ever-constant RBF, but there is this feeling of contentment and overall happiness that I feel - which is quite a rare occurrence, mind you. Then again, I might have just woken up at the right side of the bed today.
   But that's not why I'm writing.
   I've come to allot some time for writing on Saturdays. If I don't happen to have plans, of course. So far though, I'm a total bum during this particular day on weekends. I sometimes think that I should probably go out more often. But most of the time, being my typical introverted self, I prefer to decompress and just stay home. 
   So this week, I began re-watching episodes of Sex And The City again. Well, mostly episodes where Mr. Big (played by Chris Noth) was included. If I haven't told you this before, then apparently now, I'm telling you guys. My favorite character from the show - and the most that I can relate to - is Carrie Bradshaw. I know, I know. It might sound like a total cliche, but it's true. I mean, there she was, a writer, and also a complete neurotic who obsessively thinks even the smallest things that shouldn't even bother her. 
   Doesn't that ring a bell? Lol.
   Anyway, so as I re-watched it, I realized something. I realized how I didn't want to be that neurotic. At least, not to my own Mr. Big. And apparently lately, I've been such an incredible one - one huuuge pain in the ass. Lol. I'm kidding, of course. But I may or may not have been quite crazy recently, and I don't know, it's just not how I want to be. And really, it isn't like me, at all. In fact, there were more than a few moments where I laughed at Carrie when she was freaking out about something so small because it definitely hit home with me. And that was the moment where I also totally related to what she said to Miranda, as seen on the photo above.
   In fact, I've probably told myself just that more than a couple of times already. 
   Nevertheless, I considered this moment to be a marvelous epiphany. And it definitely got me into thinking why this certain behavior comes right out of me. It's a side I always knew sort of existed, but not to this extent. It's definitely new for me, as everything else in this aspect of my life is. But yeah, I don't want it to simply just come out in full circle, and at the most unexpected of moments. Sure, most of the time, it is quite valid. But there are oftentimes, when it's just me overthinking. 
   And that's what happens all the time. I spend too much time thinking. I'm not saying that there are scenarios in which it brings me at a disadvantage, but if I don't stop obsessing over a thought and ultimately freaking out about it, instead of communicating it, it can come to that. Other than the fact, of course, that I can get impatient of creating solutions; it really does me no good. And it gets me nowehere, at all. 
    I'm just fortunate enough to have someone who's incredibly patient of me. 
   And vice versa, if I can say so myself.
   . . . Because my darling, you were right. If you can be patient with me, then I also have to be patient with you. 

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