Calming Down - How Soon Is Now?

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Calming Down

   At Café Mary Grace again.
   It's the nearest place I could find solitude. And although, the buzz of chitchat around feels absolutely thrilling, the general ambiance and the smell of pasta are always a welcoming feat as well. Other than that of course, I've also been craving for some chocolate cake, but in this case, I found myself ordering a slice of Black Velvet - because at the end of the day, cream cheese is always a good choice.
   I actually had no plans whatsoever to go out today. In fact, I was saving this caprice of writing at a café for some other time. But I was asked to run a few shopping errands today, and I just felt like it was a good idea to squeeze this in for me to decompress and to write properly. So far, I must admit, it's working pretty well for me. Who would ever thought, right?
    So anyway, I was in that mood again where I wanted to withdraw myself into a hermit state. But, there was also this great part of me that wanted to have a substantial conversation over this warm ambiance that I'm currently in. A glass of wine to perhaps celebrate #NationalWineDay - which I never got to actually celebrate (I know, sad truth), - would also be a welcome bonus, if not, an appreciated thought, but meh. Most of the people I know have their own plans today, leaving me to resort to writing instead. I'm not complaining though; it's actually quite nice to have some time for myself.
   Yet, to be honest, these are the times when I actually don't want to spend time with myself. I genuinely feel like I've been doing so much of that lately, that I feel like I miss out on a lot of things, just as I have mentioned on my previous post. You see, it's a funny thing being asocial. One gets to be incredibly picky with the ones you surround yourself with, so much so, that when most of the people you'd want to be with are busy with their own lives, all you're left with is yourself. And truth be told, nothing is definitely wrong with that, it's just that sometimes it could be such a hassle, lol.
   Nevertheless, these past few days had left me pondering over a few things here and there, which made me feel like having an actual conversation about. Unfortunately, I can't exactly openly talk about them here on my blog, since they're too personal. That's why I needed an outlet, a distraction of some sort, to clear my head. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to have time to actually pick them apart, bit by awful bit, since it's another start of the week and we'd all get back to work.
   I also have to admit, that usually this would be the circumstance in which I'd freak out and have my neurotic tendencies, but surprisingly, I'm still rather calm. And really, that's a relief, because I definitely don't want to act crazy and freak out, feeling as if I have to take immediate control.
   Right now, I'll just breathe and go with the flow...
   Then let myself be neurotic at some other - more appropriate - time, lol.

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