Wasting My Young Years


   It's been two weeks since I've last posted anything here.
   I've just been so busy, and apparently, even my weekends had been preoccupied because of familial events. As far as I do enjoy what I do on a daily basis - regardless of stress, pressure, and even my overall feeling like the walking dead - I do feel like I don't have much time to even think for myself. I've got too many thoughts going on, and sadly, they all just pass one moment too soon before I could even begin to ponder them. Otherwise, I'd find myself focusing on the more important matters at hand, letting my work life succumb even into my own personal life or time.
   So picture this: Last Sunday, I was at a family friend's momentous life event, and of course, it was filled with lots of people. Some I know, some I hardly know or just don't know at all, and some I did know but didn't give a damn about. Everyone was happy, while I however, was in my normal nonchalant neutral mode - slightly happy, but more or less, just "eh." Though, as always, I made sure that I didn't exude that kind of energy, so I donned myself into a nice dress and a pair of heels, a la Carrie Bradshaw.
   Nevertheless, it was a whole day occasion. The one in the morning, I arrived into the whole scene (my mother was already there, front and center because she played an integral role in it), before my introverted self withdrew and hid into an empty room, waiting for it to be all over and just let myself breathe for a second. Into the afterparty in the evening, I again, was surrounded with lots of people - the ones who have stayed from the festivities in the morning - but this time, there were drinks all around and there was a live band. Everyone was there to enjoy themselves and the company surrounding them. And like all big parties, one could find intimacy and privacy by hanging out within a smaller group (in a totally conversational way, of course; nothing profane or something that required censorship since there were kids running around as well, lol). Should you then be surprised if I say that there I was, served with a lukewarm, half-drunken bottle of beer, and I remained to be as asocial as ever? I was simply on my phone, trying to enjoy the music from Spotify that was blasting through the speakers, while we all waited for the band's next set. It wasn't until my mother completely noticed my typical behavior and inserted myself into the conversation she was having.
   I do have to hand it to her, because the woman she was talking to was a fashion designer.
   Et voila!
   My interests had been peaked, and for the rest of the night, I was engaged into a conversation about our love for fashion, creativity, and inspirations!
   Huzzah! 
   *Insert clapping emoji, lol*
   Anyway, I just wanted to give you guys a look into my life, as utterly uninteresting as that was. I seriously just realized how I needed to take a moment and just breathe. And in what better way can I possibly do that than to write? I felt like I miss it so much considering as how fast-paced everything is going on, and by writing, I find myself being able to decompress and just slow down to break my life into tiny bits and pieces before I reflect upon it.
   It's not just writing though. Sometimes, I feel like I'm missing so much out of my life, as if I'm barely living. Shouldn't I be out in the world, experiencing life, having all these adventures and having so much fun, whilst maintaining priorities et al? A friend told me that that'll just come into the future. After all, we're young and we still have plenty of time. Then again, I'm not exactly that crazy and outgoing much either.
   I do hope what she said is true, though. I guess, I just want to be able to make more memories and be more "in-the-moment," so to speak. I might not enjoy being in big crowds and mostly being surrounded by people that I barely even know, but what I do enjoy is having intimate, simple, but fun memories with the people I love.
   And I also hope that I'd be able to do more of it.

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