Age of Consent - How Soon Is Now?

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Age of Consent

Bette Davis as Margo Channing in "All About Eve."

   I feel like an old lady stuck in a twenty-two year old's body.
   I don't exactly remember whether I've actually written those very words here before, but I wouldn't be surprised if I have. It's been a constant existential crisis that keeps boiling up at certain points or aspects of my life. And perhaps, it's not just happening to me.
   God, I seriously hope not.
   Let me elaborate further for me to put my point across and for anyone reading this to understand better - if anyone is reading this, that is.
   I've always been a pretty mature kid, you see (as per everyone and anyone I've ever met). Perhaps it came from my familial background, and being surrounded by adults most of the time. Since then, certain responsibilities had been expected of me, and one of those was mostly accompanying and taking care of my dear grandfather, whose world views helped shaped my own.
   That was to be expected, of course. After all, Jim Rohn did say, "You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with." And speaking of those people - which are none other than my friends (and now, including that certain someone) - I'm glad to say that I've associated myself with well-rounded, highly intelligent and wonderfully incredible people who I absolutely have nothing but respect for, and I adore and love.
   So back to being that matured kid. I always felt then that I just have this "old soul." I might be a millennial, but I certainly don't follow the trends whatsoever. I mean, I might have at some point or another, but it's short lived. If anything, I march to the beat of my own drum most of the time.
   But for the past few years, it came to my attention that I've been feeling quite limited. As if I'm stuck in my own teenage years wherein people know I'm an adult, but still treat me as though I'm some kid coming into adolescence. This concern of mine rushed at the back of my throat more so lately, where I feel as though I'm stuck in that box and want nothing more than to breakout of it.
   Because maybe, it's not the external factors that's putting me in it...
   Maybe it's actually just...
   Well, I'm not saying I wish it could be any different. At this moment, I know this awkward phase of being a young adult is actual something I have to go through to grow up. And right now, I'm just soaking it all in, especially in terms of my career. But there are just so many things I wish I can do, like going on trips or whatever - like normal adults or people my age can do.
   I know, I know.
   They will all follow at some point or another. But they won't unless I do something about it, right? I remember telling a friend, "You're only free as you think you are." And maybe, just maybe, if I breakout of my own limiting thoughts, everyone and everything else will follow as well.
   That's all I want, to be honest.
   To wave my flag and declare independence.

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