Liability - How Soon Is Now?

Saturday, November 18, 2017


   After that last post, I found myself living like a hermit and wanting to be more out in civilization socializing.
   And instead, I was stuck running house errands and then doing some work when I get home, since there was a three-day special non-working holiday in the metro for the ASEAN Summit. You'd think I'd use this time wisely to actually take a break and catch up with friends - in which, really, was the ideal plan, but that plan didn't pan out.
   But the thing was, I was feeling really down in the dumps about that. I felt terrible. So terrible that I reflected upon myself and doubted myself yet again, wondering if I really was that neglectful towards the people who are dear to me. But after a quick chat with a few of my friends, who I confided in, I definitely felt much better. I realized that I should get over that pity party and just get out of that rut.
   Once that took place, I thought why was I feeling this way? Clearly, it mattered to me that was why I was disturbed by it. But I also realized that I was actually doing something that I have never done in the past few years or so - and wished and pushed myself to do. And I was finally at this point in my life wherein I was focusing on building it into the way I want it to be. I finally took that step - that leap of courage to step of my comfort zone and to be able to grow more as a person.
   And there is nothing wrong with that, because everyone has to.
   Everyone needs to.
   So if I find people who can't seem to support that, or they do at first but stop when they realize that I no longer serve their purpose or their wants, then I guess nobody really needs that kind of shitty energy into their lives anyway. Everyone is busy, and everyone tries their best to make time for the important things and people that matter in their lives. And we should all support each other with what everyone's trying to achieve, than to pull them down.
   This isn't just something that I wanted to say and what I wanted everyone to think of. But this is also for myself, in case I act the same way to others and make them feel this way. I surely didn't like how it felt like. It was very shitty, and I wouldn't want to make anyone else feel that way.
   As I've said before, I needed to be more nurturing, and so nurturing I will be especially for the ones I love.
   Then continue on this path, and possibly even greater ones.

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